


On this rocky start (we'll build something grand)

by IraBragi



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (both of them think they aren't good enough), (but he works on making it right), (seriously just because you can doesn't meant every one wants kids!, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged/Forced Marriage, BAMF Pepper Potts, Birth Control, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Bucky was a POW, But ABSOLUTELY no non-con, Consensual Sex, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mpreg is talked about, No actual mpreg, Protective Natasha Romanov, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is a Saint, Self-Esteem Issues, Steve is a bit of a dick, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, learning how to make a relationship work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21635287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IraBragi/pseuds/IraBragi
Summary: In retrospect he should have seen it coming.  Tony had never been good at avoiding his father’s bad side.  Too loud, too rebellious, too smart, but never smart enough.  It had been like that since he was four and his first circuit board had shattered against the wall, then again when he was twelve and had the audacity to fail at being the alpha Howard deserved.  Still it was hardly his fault that any idiot could see the mistakes in Howard’s blueprints.  Not that Howard saw it that way.
Relationships: Ana Jarvis/Edwin Jarvis, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Winter/Tony Stark
Comments: 52
Kudos: 711





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not Exactly What I Wanted](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17248145) by [Tahlruil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tahlruil/pseuds/Tahlruil). 



> I am writing Winter and Bucky as different personalities who (mostly) get along and both love Tony. Although this situation would likely be described as DID (dissociative identity disorder) in a real world context, I want to make it clear that I do not have DID and I am sure that there are many differences between my fiction and the actual experience of people with this condition. With that said, DID gets unfairly sensationalized and vilified in the media, and I really wanted to write both Winter and Bucky being mushy and in love with Tony.

The truck door groaned in protest as it swung open. Rusty hinges most likely - or maybe it too was tired of being shoved around.  _ Great, I’m personifying a damn car now _ . Tony wondered fleetingly if there was any WD-40 in the garage. Then again, trying to fix something for an alpha was what had gotten him in this mess to begin with.  _ Let him fix his own damn car. Maybe if I’m lucky he’ll crush his other arm… or his dick. _

As he sat there darkly contemplating the potential for maiming via car maintenance, the afore mentioned alpha had made his way from the driver’s side and was now hovering silently. The man’s natural musk wafted through the evening air. Not a bad smell for an alpha really, not too strong or acrid; if the situation was different he might have even called it  _ nice _ . 

The situation wasn’t different though so Tony forced his eyes open and slowly stepped down from the truck, trying to keep as much distance between the two of them as possible. The yard looked well kept. The path from the garage was paved with red bricks and several large trees probably would make for welcome shade in the summer; but nothing could keep the front door from looming ominously. The last thing standing between him and whatever his new mate wanted. All his earlier spite melted away, replaced with near-panic. He was sure that the whole block could hear his pulse thundering through his chest. 

What was the other man was thinking? Annoyance? Anger over his lack of enthusiasm? Or was he willing to overlook Tony’s personality in favor of the main event? It was their wedding night after all

The fact that, no matter how much he glared or ignored him, the other man remained outwardly calm made it all the worse. At least with Howard you knew when he was pissed. 

The silence continued as Bucky unlock the door ( _ And what kind of ridiculous name was Bucky anyway? It sounded like what you call a dog. Or a goat.) _ Then the door was being pushed open and the alpha made a sudden move that had Tony skittering back like; well, like a terrified bride. His right heel,  _ damn those stupid shoes _ , caught on the step and suddenly strong fingers were the only thing keeping him upright and out of the bushes. Under the circumstances, Tony thought that the yelp that made it past his throat was fairly forgivable. But instead of a harsh jerk or slap, the hand released him as soon as he was steady and it was Bucky who cringed back like  _ he  _ was the one afraid of being hit.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean! It’s tradition… I was just gonna carry you…” He bit his lip and Tony realized what the older man meant, the old fashioned tradition of carrying the bride across the threshold. Tony bit his lip and tried to asses the situation. Part of him screamed that if he got that close to the alpha - right up in his arms - then he wouldn’t get put back down until… well until the  _ claiming  _ was over. The more rational part pointed out that pissing off the alpha who was about to claim you wasn’t exactly a wise move either. He shot Bucky a wary glance. 

The man had been nothing but gentle so far. Letting Tony make all the decisions for the wedding (as if getting to choose the colors of the table clothes made up for being sold off like a dog who'd soiled the carpet one time too many) keeping his touches light and minimal, and not even raising more than an eyebrow at the truly hideous blue suite that Tony had picked out for him. All-in-all a perfect gentleman; and that scared him most of all. 

\----------- 

In retrospect he should have seen it coming. Tony had never been good at avoiding his father’s bad side. Too loud, too rebellious, too smart, but never smart enough. It had been like that since he was four and his first circuit board had shattered against the wall, then again when he was twelve and had the audacity to fail at being the alpha Howard deserved. Still it was hardly  _ his  _ fault that any idiot could see the mistakes in Howard’s blueprints. Not that Howard saw it that way. 

Tony was pretty sure that the only reason that he didn't end up with his face caved in that night was because Howard didn’t want to lose money on the sale. Ah yes, the lovely "dinner party" that his father dreamed up to both dispose of his brat of a son and make nice with his military contacts at the same time. Oh and of course make a tidy sum of money to boot. A good ol’ horse auction - with Tony as the prize mare.

\---------- 

“They are clean. The scent I mean ( _ my scent,  _ he couldn’t help but thinking _ )  _ I washed them” Bucky bit his lip trying to keep from babbling in his nervousness. 

Usually his first instinct was to go silent when he was overwhelmed but everything in him was aching to calm the scared omega in front of him,  _ his omega _ . Usually comfort between mates came from either skin to skin contact or scenting each other. Except every time he tried to reach out Tony either flinched or froze so touching was out, and somehow he doubted that the scent of the person you had every right to hate would be very calming either. 

On top of everything else Winter was all but gnashing his teeth in distress. 

_ “FIX IT! What did we do? Needprotectkeeplove. Who do we need to kill. OURS.” _

It was hard enough to keep his own emotions under control, without adding in the antisocial alter-ego in his head. Bucky had the incongruous though that this must be what his mother felt like when she was trying to get him and Stevie patched up while talking Steve down from running right back out to keep fixing the ills of the world with his fists. Different emotions, same pounding headache.

One thing was for sure, he was going to be spending the night on the couch downstairs. Probably a lot of nights. 

“ _ We don’t lay a finger until he wants it. Wants us.”  _

On that both he and Winter were in perfect agreement. The fact that Tony clearly expected to be pushed down and taken right then and there made him sick. Whatever had been done to the omega (and after spending the last week at the Stark estate he has some pretty good guesses) it was clearly going to take time to convince Tony to even consider trusting them.

“ _ Worth it,”  _ Winter purrs. Absolutely worth it, Bucky agrees.

\------------

“I’ll be down stairs. If you need anything, I’ll… don’t be afraid to ask.” With that he backed out of the room and softly closed the door, hoping that Tony could relax enough to get some rest now. Maybe it even worked because the sour scared/angry/ready to run scent eased as he made his way down the hall.

Part of him wondered if Tony wouldn't just climb out the window and disappear during the night. As much as both he and Winter wanted to growl at the idea of their (perfect, wonderful, amazing, genius) mate running from them he couldn’t really blame Tony either. Hell if he was in Tony’s position he’d probably run too. 

Bucky settled into the recliner with grown and let his head flop back onto the headrest. Grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes did little to take away the headache but getting up to find aspirin seemed like far too much effort right now. The last week had been  _ hard _ . He’d been so focused on keeping it together, trying to play the part of a functioning human being and avoid doing anything to fuck this up even more. He could feel the inevitable crash coming. Sam would say something about spoons and everyone having limits, all Bucky knew was that he felt like the world was closing in and that if he let himself doze off the nightmares would just wake him back up.  _ Wouldn't that be a swell way to convince Tony that he was a good guy - waking up screaming about freezing to death and murder. _

Since sleep wasn’t an option Bucky hauled himself up and began the familiar routine of patrolling; checking the doors and windows, walking the perimeter. It felt good to reassure himself that no harm would befall his new mate while he was alive to protect him. 

Hell, even if wasn’t around any more Tony was  _ never  _ going back to that house. Bucky had made that clear to Steve before the wedding. His friend may have rolled his eyes and shook his head, but in the end he’d agreed. The punk always was a sucker for strays anyway. And if… well, if it came to that, he knew that there was nowhere safer for Tony than with Stevie and Nat - even from himself. 

\-------------

Bucky had had no idea of the real purpose of the dinner when he agreed to attend. In fact he had spent the better part of the week prior dreading the whole blighted affair. Unfortunately his old commander had been first persuasive, then quite insistent. Probably out of some sort of misplaced guilt or maybe wanting to make a show of him. (“See we always bring our man home.”) In any case after much nagging from Stevie and Sam about “getting out of the house” and “stop being a damn hermit, man” he had found himself in a uniform that barely fit anymore (PT will do wonders for your physique, but the pain really wasn’t worth it in his opinion) in a house that was bigger than the block he had grown up on, wondering why a beautiful omega in a borderline provocative outfit was standing stiffly at the front of the room.

Men with big metals on their chests and even larger guts milled around and Bucky had been doing his best to fade into the wallpaper when Stark called the room together. The man was all but smirking with (judging by the number of tumblers he kept emptying and shoving back at the wait staff) alcohol assisted manic energy as he dragged the male omega across the room.

It was probably just as well that Bucky couldn’t remember what exactly Howard had said. (Although Winter icily informed him that  _ he  _ remembered every smirk and chauvinistic innuendo.) What he did remember was how Tony kept a plastic smile pinned on his face all while being displayed like a particularly useful household ornament. How he stood ramrod straight despite Howard's manhandling and far to many of the alphas “innocently” crowding into his personal space. 

Blood had been pounding in Bucky's ears and he was starting to come around to Winter's idea of "just kill the lot of them" when he had looked up to find quizzical brown eyes assessing him from across the room. Tony must have liked what he saw because his lips had quirked into the first real smile of the night - and right then and there Bucky was a goner. 

In the back of his head Winter  _ purred _ ( _ that one, our mate, ours)  _ and for perhaps the first time in the year since he had been back in the US Bucky found himself in total agreement. If he would have them, the omega across the room was going to be their mate. 

Even it it meant not punching Howard Stark long enough to get him to agree 

\------------

Tony’s eyes darted from the closed door to the empty bed and back again. What excatly was this fucking alpha playing at? He dropped the linens on the bed, it already looked plush with a comforter and a veritable  _ mountain  _ of soft throw blankets and pillows ( _ god did he want to bury his face in the pillows and build a proper nest. _ ) A quick survey of the room turned up nothing out of the ordinary. There was a dresser with what looked like some of Bucky’s clothes in it and a closet that held a single coat and a dress uniform. None of the boxes pushed into the corner held anything more racy than dusty books and what looked like yellowed photos. Even searching under the bed and in the chest at the foot of the bed turned up nothing more untoward than a vibrator and some lube. He couldn’t help the blush that crept up his cheeks as he hurriedly shoved them back into the drawer. 

The window was not locked and, although the room was on the second story, it would have been easy enough to slide down to the porch roof and from there to the ground. Tony had the window half open before common sense kicked in and he eased it back closed. It would be just like an alpha to try to lull him into false security just to have it prove to be a trap. Tony shuddered at the thought of the sort of punishment he'd receive when his mate invariably caught him. Besides where exactly would he even go? Home? 

He didn’t  _ have a home _ any more. 

Somehow that was the thought that broke him. All the tears that that he had been holding back refused to be swallowed any longer. With a semi hysterical scream he threw himself onto the bed and sobbed. Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if the man downstairs could smell just how much he  _ hated  _ him.

\----------

It was all Bucky could do to keep himself, let alone Winter, from rushing upstairs the second he heard the heartbroken keening. Every last instinct was screaming to go comfort his mate; but seeing as he was almost certainly the reason for the tears he couldn’t imagine that Tony wanted anything from him, let alone comfort. This was his fault so the least he could do was give Tony space.

When Bucky had made Howard his offer he had all but begged the man to let him have a chance to court Tony. He’d had visions of long walks and carefully chosen presents. He wanted the Omega - Tony as he'd learned only after going in circles with Howard for twenty minutes - but not like this, not as a fucking business deal without even having spoken to the man himself. Howard had made it abundantly clear that that was not an option. 

“Maybe he needs someone with a firmer hand than you” he’d sneered. The, "if you don't get with the program there are five other alphas who will" was unsaid but clearly communicated. So Bucky had swallowed hard and signed away the majority of five years back pay along with any hope of Tony actually liking him. All because he couldn’t stomach the idea of those bright eyes being beaten dull by one of the testosterone high knot heads in in the other room. 

_ It's worth it, _ he reminded himself over and over.  _ Even if he doesn't like us, even if he  _ never  _ likes us, he will be safe.  _ That was what mattered. 

It did nothing to quiet the screaming in his head. 


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning found Bucky attempting to glare the pantry into submission. 

Food.

He could do that, he could feed his mate. And coffee. According to Jarvis his new husband was borderline addicted to the drink. Well that, at least, was easy enough to provide. 

It had been a very long time since he had cooked much of anything. After so long either scavenging for anything his captors discarded or going hungry, feeding himself was a daunting task at times. He racked his brains trying to remember everything Jarvis had told him when he'd gotten the courage to ask the older man for advice. 

\----------

"Is everything to you liking Sir?" The tone was on the polite side of brusk - but only just. As the butler of the house, it was apparently Jarvis' job to see that the wedding ran smoothly and with all possible speed. He was also second only to Tony in his dislike of Bucky's existence. 

Not that Bucky could really blame him. The older man clearly loved his employer's son, going as far as to try to argue against the whole thing and then, when that failed, attempting to at least push the wedding off for more than the one week Howard was demanding. 

Bucky honestly wasn't sure if the man thought so little of his son that he assumed only someone as "desperate" as Bucky would agree to the match. Or, if the snake of a man was  _ enjoying  _ the idea of forcing Tony into a march that was "beneath" him. Probably both. 

"Serves the meddling little bitch right" was all he'd said on the topic and that was that. 

Which was how Bucky found himself in an empty bedroom, waiting to put on a suit he hadn't bought, preparing to walk down the aisle with an omega he'd only shared a handful of words with. Maybe Steve was right about this whole thing being crazy. 

Bucky carefully rotated his prosthetic arm into place, fervently hoping that it wouldn't chose today of all days to act up. Taking a deep breath he looked at himself in the mirror. He could do this. He  _ had to  _ do this.

"Yes Sir, everything is wonderful. I… I was just wondering, since we haven't, because everything is so rushed… could you maybe tell me about Tony a little? Like what he likes? I want him to be..." 

The words hitched in his throat. Happy? The ugly voices in his head snickered the very notion. When he'd signed the paperwork he had been full of righteous ignidation, sure that he was doing the right thing. Now, looking at himself in the mirror, he wondered if he was any better than the alphas he'd "saved" his mate-to-be from. How could he ever expect someone like Tony to be happy with a one armed, PTSD ridden, vet who he hadn't even had a choice in marrying? What right did a murderer have to someone as alive and  _ good  _ as... 

He shook his head and forced the tangled thoughts aside. At this point they changed nothing. "...Comfortable."

The older man's face had softened a bit, but he was still clearly picking and choosing his words with care. 

"I've known Sir since he was born and there's no doubt that he's the smartest person I've ever met. Always building something or making it work better.."

Bucky wished he could have known little Tony. He bet that the child had been as adorable as he was precocious. 

"He has two masters degrees you know, there was even an offer from MIT for him to finish a Doctorate."

Bucky shook his head in awe. Here he was a washed up army grunt and his husband was a genius. 

"He's a good boy." Jarvis' tone took on an almost pleading edge. "He can be… high strung ... but he  _ wants  _ to please. He just doesn't know how sometimes. He’ll work himself raw when he’s got his teeth in a project and, heaven knows he can talk up a storm, but he means well. A little kindness and he'll settle right down. I promise."

Bucky had nodded and wondered what the hell kind of person Jarvis though he was. It was as if he expected Bucky to  _ punish  _ Tony for being brilliant.

"Oh and coffee. If there's any way to his heart it is through a good cup of caffeine. The boy's been drinking it straight since he was too little to get to the mugs. Not that we encouraged it of course, there just wasn't any stopping him!"

An hour later he was standing beside his new mate vowing to love, protect, and cherish. Tony's hand was clenched into a fist against his. 

\---------

It was the smell of coffee that lured Tony out of bed the next morning. He considered just ignoring the world and refusing to leave the room but a rumble from his stomach paired with the beginnings of a caffeine headache convinced him otherwise. 

Pushing himself out of the tangle of sheets and blankets (after his little breakdown last night, making the bed had seemed like far too much effort) he considered his next move. 

The bag he'd taken with him held his laptop, his diplomas, a picture of Ana and Jarvis, and a few other odds and ends. The rest of his stuff was going to be sent over on Monday. Unfortunately, that left him with only the clothes he was currently wearing - the now much rumpled silk slacks and loose blouse that had been his wedding attire. He'd much rather burn them than keep wearing them. 

A flash of gold distracted him from his quandary. For all omegas are supposed to love shiny things Tony had never gotten the appeal of jewelry. It just got in the way of working or led to trouble when he invariably lost it; still he couldn't help but admire the braided band of gold on his left hand. It wasn't terribly common for omegas to wear a wedding ring, the bonding bite was considered symbol enough, but it had been the one thing Bucky insisted on.

"It was my mother's ring, I want you to have it." It was a sweet gesture, and he couldn't decide if that was a good thing good or not. 

\-----------

Bucky was just beginning to wonder if he should start frying eggs or wait when he heard footsteps in the living room and all brain function promptly screeched to a halt. Tony was  _ wearing his clothes. _ Well, the old pair of sweatpants actually fit so they probably had been Becca’s, but the t shirt was one of his favorites. Far too large for his smaller frame, Tony had pulled the slack into a knot that sat on his left hip. His hair was sticking up in all directions and his feet were bare. He looked... indescribable. The urge to sweep across the room and pull the omega into his arms was borderline painful. As was the temptation to go with Winter’s suggestion and pull those pants down and see if Tony liked his alpha on their knees. Instead Bucky took a deep breath and tried to focus on making his mouth work. ( _ Not like that damn it! Brain out of the gutter!) _

“Coffee… here. Now?”

\------------

Tony hadn't been sure what he expected when he made his way down stairs. Putting on the clothes he had found was a gamble but it seemed safe enough. By that time the need for caffeine was enough to push his nerves aside.

What he hadn't expected was for the alpha to jerk to a stop and stare at him like he’d kicked the man’s dog. Tony honestly wasn’t sure if he was about to get murdered or, well murdered. Which was just  _ unfair _ , he hadn't even  _ done  _ anything yet. Then just as suddenly as it began the look was gone and the alpha was shoving a scalding cup of coffee at him and stammering something in gibberish. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor Tony took the cup and tried to make himself as small as possible.

Before he could even drain the first cup, a plate of eggs and toast was being shoved at him along with a second cup of surprisingly good coffee. An alpha who cooks, that was… different. Trying to avoid any more murder stares Tony kept his eyes on plate and his mouth too full to say anything anoying.

\-----------

_ His omega was eating! He was eating food that  _ he _ had made for him! _ If Winter had been a cat he would be purring up a storm. When the food was finished Tony had picked up his plate, washed it, then very slowly walked out of the room. Part of Bucky/Winter wanted to wine about being separated, but a few minutes later Tony came back down stairs with a computer and sat stiffly down in the living room. When they followed there was a brief spike of fear scent but when he picked up a book and settled in a chair opposite Tony it tapered off.

\---------------

Before he knew it morning had turned into afternoon. Getting his computer had been another risk. Either Bucky would be relieved that Tony knew how to amuse himself or he would be offended at not being asked for permission to breath. Much to his relief all the man had done was pick up a battered copy of  _ 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, _ Tony could appreciate some classic sci fi, and keep as far from him as possible. It was… shockingly ok.

It was only when he looked up and found a plate with a sandwich and chips on it that he realized how deep in the zone he had gotten. He had been working on the code for a learning robot for a while now. It was hard, one step forward and two back, but the challenge was intoxicating.

“You’re so beautiful when you work.” 

Judging by the red that bloomed on his cheeks, Bucky had not meant to say that aloud. Infact the alpha looked downright horrified, physically slapping his hand over his mouth and… oh fuck. Tony recognized those sounds - shallow rapid breathing and gasping for air - all too well. His mate was having a panic attack. Fuck.

\------------

“Here.” The only reason that Bucky didn’t hit the person who pushed the glass of water into his hand was because he was too frozen in place to move. 

“Can you drink it? Or I can count breaths for you? Sometimes that helps me.”

_ Tony. _ Here with him.  _ Safe _ . Tony was asking him to do something.  _ Drink _ . He would do whatever Tony asked.

By the time the glass was empty Bucky’s heart rate was nearly back to normal and he could actually get air into his lungs again. Tony stood beside him looking awkward ( _ of course he looks awkward, who wants a broken alpha. Probably hates you even more now)  _ but shockingly he didn’t retreat. He didn’t even smell angry, or scared. His scent reminded Bucky of an old garage on a sunny day; tangy and sweet, calming, grounding, and perfect. Still shaky from the adrenaline crash that always came after, Bucky let himself bask in the pheromones. It was so, so, much more that he deserved. Then Tony sat down next to him and Bucky was sure that he was dreaming.

“Panic attacks suck.”

There was no judgment in his voice, just stating a fact. He liked that. Steve mother henned at him and Sam didn’t know how to turn off being a counselor. Nat was better, she offered vodka and sat silently with him. Clint pelted him with glitter. It was only after a few more breaths that the implication of the statement sunk in. Tony had panic attacks too. Suddenly it was hard to breath for a totally different reason.

“Who hurt you?” Bucky was sure that his voice was too loud, too harsh, but Tony didn’t flinch.

“I feel like if I tell you they’ll wind up dead. Witch… to be fair I’m not totally against, but I’d hate for you to go to jail.” A pause, and then, “You think I’m beautiful?”

The way the omega said it, like a question, made him splutter and stumble over his words.

“Yes! I mean, of course… I’m sorry, I know… don’t worry I would never… Fuck you’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen!” Smooth Barns, real smooth. But Tony actually shot him one of those fleeting, perfect, smiles.

“You’re the strangest alpha I’ve ever met.” And then he sat back and didn’t make a move to leave the sofa, even when Bucky picked his book up off the floor and Tony grabbed his laptop… so maybe he hadn't completely fucked everything up - yet.

\-------------

Bucky Barns was the strangest fucking alpha that he’d ever met. After the panic attack (and why did telling his mate that he looked good send the guy into a panic?) it had seemed rude to move so he had grabbed his computer and came back to the couch. They sat like that, side by side but not touching, until Bucky asked if he liked pizza. 

While they were eating plain cheese (Bucky) and far superior pepperoni (Tony,) Bucky asked what he was working on. Then he’d sat there and listened to Tony babble without a single complaint. In fact, the time that Tony actually offer to shut up Bucky shook his head vehemently and asked a genuinely insightful question about the potential for learning matrixes to expand via neural implants. When it was time for bed and Tony awkwardly gathered up his computer and pointedly didn’t look over his shoulder as he made his way up the stairs. Only Bucky made no move to follow him. 

Tony couldn’t understand it at all - and he had figured out calculus when he was six.


	3. Chapter 3

“Fucking Howard! I swear I’m gonna kill him. Alpha prick! Probably should kick what’s-his-name’s ass too. He hasn't hurt you right? I will hijack a jet and come get you.”

  
When he had finally been able to schedule a Skype session with Rhodey (Tony knew that his friend was the best damn pilot that the Air Force had, but he still needed his platypus time!) it took quite a bit of time to explain everything that had happened. Rhodey was predictably pissed at the whole situation. It warmed Tony to know that, military and deployments be damned, his friend would always be in his corner.

  
In fact, he was so busy pouring out his woes, then backtracking convincing the man that going AWOL with a stolen F150 wasn't necessary, that he totally missed Bucky’s return.  
It turned out that Bucky liked to go for runs. (It must be a military thing, Rhodey was like that too. So disgustingly healthy it made Tony want to gag.) So he had waited until he knew that the alpha would be occupied for a couple of hours to skype his friend. He figured that if Bucky hadn’t forbid him from contacting the other alpha he wasn’t technically doing anything wrong.

  
“Ok hunny bun, give the bad guys hell and stay safe! Love you too!” It wasn’t until he had ended the call that he saw Bucky standing in the doorway. He could feel the blood draining from his face and the floor rushing up at him.  
\------------  
It had started out as a good morning. No nightmares meant that even Winter was well rested for once and before he left for his run he had given in to temptation and tiptoed upstairs, past the bedroom door. It must have swung open at some point during the night because there, fast asleep in the pale morning light, was Tony. Bucky felt his heart swell; all the pillows and blankets had been haphazardly piled into a mound and in the center of the nest lay Tony, fast asleep.

  
When he got back, he was surprised to hear Tony already up and talking to someone. Moving toward the living room he realized that he was skyping with someone. From the angle Bucky couldn’t see the screen but maybe it was his friend Pepper? They had met at the wedding (he was pretty sure that she had subtly threatened to sic the IRS on him if he fucked up) or the person that Tony had referred to as Platypus? That had to be a nickname right?  
Tony’s voice had a lightness to it that Bucky hadn't heard before, it made him pause in the doorway and smile sappily.

  
“Ok hunny bun, give the bad guys hell and stay safe! Love you too!”

  
Feeling a little bad for lurking, he was about to say hello when Tony turned around and went white as a sheet. Not even Winter’s reflexes had been enough to get to the omega before he hit the floor.  
\-----------  
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Tony could feel the panic shorting his brain out, fuzzy static that screamed that he was about to die.

  
Alphas were teritorial. Everybody knew that. Their home, their belongings, their mate. The only time he’d ever seen Jarvis truly angry was when a new driver had gotten fresh with Ana. The man had cornered her, scenting her and trying for a kiss, only to be bodily thrown to the ground by a growling Alpha hell bent on protecting his mate.

  
They had to send the man’s notice of termination to the hospital.

  
Jarvise knew that Ana would never cheat, they had loved each other more than anything else in the world. Bucky on the other hand, had no reason to believe that of him. Especially when there he was, talking with another alpha, fucking telling another alpha that he loved him. Never mind that he didn’t mean it like that. Bucky would kill him. He tried to make himself be strong; don’t cry, Stark men are made of iron, you know you deserve it... but he couldn't. No matter how hard he dug his fingers into his arms he couldn't get the shaking to stop.  
\-----------  
The fear pheromones rolling off Tony were enough to make Bucky gag. The brunette was curled in a ball, shaking and trying to press himself under the end table.

  
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

  
Desperately trying to control his own spiraling anxiety Bucky eased forward, trying to look as non-threatening as he could, until he was next to the shaking omega.  
“Tony? Doll, are you hurt?”

  
“Please don’t! I didn’t mean it!” Bucky had been so focused on Tony’s face that it was only then that he noticed the bloody grooves running up the length of Tony’s forearms. Even while shaking like a leaf he was still dragging his nails across his arms deepening the wounds. Seeing the blood short circuited all rational though - which of course meant that he did the worst possible thing under the circumstances.

  
Bucky’s hands shot out, grabbing Tony by the wrists and jerking him forward. What he meant to do was to stop Tony from scratching himself. Instead it pushed Tony from panicky to fight-or-flight.

  
The split lip Bucky knew he deserved, but the scream that Tony let out would haunt his nightmares for a very long time to come.  
\---------  
People tend to overlook the little boy quietly reading a book in the corner. By the time he was shipped off to boarding school, Tony had heard more than enough to understand some basic truths: Alphas were unpredictable and dangerous. Omegas existed to be useful; for arm candy, for heirs, to state an alpha’s anger or lust. Howard expected him to present as his alpha air; the next Stark man.

  
Boarding school was the perfect environment for kids with too much money and too little supervision to find the most creative ways possible of hurting each other. Being younger than all of his classmates, and the only omega in advanced classes, made him a perfect target for their bullying.

  
By the time Justin Hammer made a fool of him at junior prom then tried to get in his pants later that night, ( _“I’m doing you a favor freak, who else is gonna want to knot you?”_ ) Tony decided that relationships were stupid wastes of time and energy. He had work to do.

\-------------  
Bucky had no idea how long he held Tony, cooing soothingly and trying to keep his scent as calm as possible. Eventually the shivering eased and his breathing returned to a mostly normal pattern. Bucky couldn’t help but brush a kiss across the sweaty curls. He hated seeing Tony like this, but damn if he wasn’t glad that he could be there for him.

  
“You back with me Doll?” He felt a small nod against his chest.

  
“Ok then hun. Do you want me to put you down or stay here?” A long pause.

  
“Here.” It was more of a squeak than a word but Bucky breathed a sigh of relief. It would have been hard to put him down. He would have done it of course, but it would have sucked.

  
“Ok then, if it’s alright with you I’m going to get up and get us onto the couch. I don’t know about you, but my old bones aren’t so happy with the floor. Is that alright?” Another nod.

  
Once they were settled Bucky took a few deep breaths and tried to get himself under control. For once he wished he had Sam around. The beta counselor was actually good at the whole talking thing. Unfortunately all Tony had right now was him.

  
“Can you tell me what happened Doll? Did someone hurt you?”

  
The answer was so long coming that he was afraid that there wouldn't be one.

  
“I wouldn't cheat on you. I’ve never… I wouldn’t. Please don't hurt me.” _What_?

  
“I’m confused Doll. Did someone? Ummm… I never thought you would.” Tony pulled back far enough to give him a confused look.

  
“Rhodey. He’s deployed so we skype.”

  
“Was that who you were talking to?” Even as gentle as he tried to make his voice, Tony tensed up again. “It’s ok hun. You’re allowed to have friends you know. I’m not upset.”

  
“He’s an alpha though! Not… not that it’s like that!” The words came out in a rush, picking up speed until Bucky struggled to understand them. “We went to school together and he looked out for me. He’s a fighter pilot and he sorta works for SI. But we’re just friends! He’s like a brother, so it would just be weird!” The little wrinkle of his nose when he said it had no right to be as adorable as it was.

  
“Honey, you do know that you are allowed to have friends regardless of their gender? I’m not going to be mad, heck, I want you to have friends. Can’t have you getting bored of hanging out with me all the time. Ok?” The look he got was flatly disbelieving.

It wasn’t even Winter who was most eager to kill Howard right now.

“And another thing. I don’t know what kind of alphas you’re used to but I’m never going to punish you, or hit you, or do anything to hurt you. I don’t care what you do, or if we’re having a fight or something. We’re both equals here.” He had to stop and bury his nose in the mop of curls resting under his chin. Let himself remember that Tony was here, and he was safe, and no one was going to harm him again. His voice was still thick when he continued, “No one is ever going to hurt you again sweetheart. I swear.”  
\-------------  
When he was finished soaking Bucky’s shirt with tears and snot, the alpha had coaxed him to the bathroom and fussed over his arms, putting ointment and wrapping them. Tony tried to wave him off, they would heal just fine on their own. He could just wear long sleeves for a while, but the big ol’ mother hen was having none of it. Maybe he just didn't like the idea of having a ugly scared mess for a mate. _Well, he’s a bit late for that one. Hope he's not too disappointed whenever he actually gets my shirt off._

  
After his arms were wrapped Bucky had all but carried him back to the couch, told him to wait a minute and brought a glass of water and the world's softest blanket.

  
“Can I sit with you?” Usually after something like this Tony would make himself get to work. Try to forget everything by tinkering or coding… but everything felt foggy and cold… and Bucky was nice and warm. Maybe he could let himself be weak just this once.

  
"Could we, um, if you want you can lean up against me?" It was almost cute how the big bad alpha could sound so shy. Tony let himself flop back until his head was resting on Bucky's thigh and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders. He could feel Bucky’s humm of approval at the contact but all the alpha did was begin running his hand slowly through his hair. Tony was fairly sure that he had melted into a puddle of goo. He was never going to move again.

  
“Just you rest now Doll. I’ll be here when you wake up.” When had Bucky’s voice gotten so deep and warm? Almost without meaning to Tony felt his eyes begin to droop. As he was nearly asleep he swore he heard a mutter of what sounded like ruissan.  
“люблю тебя так много дорогая” (“Love you so much Honey.”)  
\-------------  
After convincing Bucky that he wouldn’t run off and immediately start stabbing people Bucky had finally had agreed to let Winter come forward and hold Tony as he slept. They both felt and saw what each other did, they were two sides of the same coin after all, but it was different to be the one holding their precious charge.

Their Tony.

  
He still wasn’t used to this; to wanting things, feeling things, being a person. When he was made Winter had been a weapon, an it. They gave it missions and it did them. Everything else was unimportant. Except.. things had changed. It had been a long time since someone had given them a mission. But Tony… He though that Tony might be a good mission. He made Winter want to be… more.

  
The omega was limp with sleep, his cheek pressed against their thigh and one hand tucked under his hip. Bucky had been… petting? the other’s hair but when Winter pulled his hand back to break contact ( _He lets Bucky touch him, he never said I was allowed._ ) Tony let out a little wine and pressed further onto his lap. Carefully, so so carefully, Winter eased his flesh hand back and tentatively pressed his fingers into the tangled hair. Still asleep Tony let out a contented sound which the soldier took as permission and an order all in one.  
\-------------  
Warm. Warm and nice and comfy. Someone was petting his head and everything felt right and good. Slowly sleep receded and the real world filtered back in. Someone was here with him. He opened his eyes and looked up into a pair of storm grey eyes and a cautious expression.

  
“как твои дела… Um… how are you?” The voice was different. Deeper and with less inflection, also the Russian.

  
“Bucky?” Something like fear flashed through the grey eyes.

  
“...No. We thought that you would sleep longer. Do not worry, I can go away.” What?

  
“…what’s going on?” The question seemed to cause an intense internal struggle. It was almost comical how easy it was to read the worry, doubt, and finally acceptance that flashed across the other’s face face before the he opened his mouth.

  
“I am Winter. Please don’t be afraid. I protect you now. That is my… our… mission.”


	4. Chapter 4

He really should be freaking out. Like really, really. This was… not normal. Except, Tony didn’t really feel scared. This “Winter” was holding him just as gently as Bucky had. He seemed more scared that anything else. Well, here goes nothing.

  
“I know that you were a soldier, you fought overseas… and you lost your arm? Is this about that?” It seemed rude to mention it but the other man didn’t seem bothered. In fact he looked relieved.

  
“Yes. There was an accident, Bucky was captured. Hydra, they wanted a soldier. First they had to break him… we woke up while they were cutting off our arm. It was infected.”

Tony shuddered.

“We know it’s complicated.” Those big grey eyes shouldn’t be capable of looking like a kicked puppy.

He wasn't sure what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was the way that he could tell just how hard it was for Winter ( that was going to take some getting used to) to talk like this. Or maybe he just wanted to see those eyes looking happy again (when exactly had he started caring about that anyway?) but he leaned up and kissed the alpha on his cheek.

“So you're telling me that I have two alphas now?” The look on their face was so incredulous that Tony couldn't help but burst out laughing.

“You aren’t angry with us? Or scared?” Tony shrugged.

“I’m scared of all alphas, but you've treated me pretty good so far. I think I just might keep you.”  
It felt strange to snark at his mate. Especially when he had spent so much effort trying to keep his mouth shut, but the smile that split Bucky… Winter’s... face made something warm and happy twist in his chest. This was still weird… but maybe it was an ok kind of weird.  
\-----------------  
After finding out about Winter’s existence things had shifted between them. Bucky still was “in front” most of the time but now slowly he got into the habit of telling Tony about what Winter was thinking in the back of his head. (Well, at least some of it. The parts where Winter wanted to worship the omega with his mouth and cock until Tony was a writhing mess of pleasure, he carefully omitted. Not that he disagreed, but still.)

  
And shockingly Tony didn’t seem to mind. Tony would say something snarky and Winter would fire back and then Bucky would laugh at both of them. Sometimes it felt like they were having a three-way conversation, even if it was just the two bodies. It had never occurred to Bucky that someone could accept Winter like Tony did; never questioning that Winter was just another part of him and seemingly unafraid of either of them.

  
Not even after he woke screaming and lashed out, very nearly hitting Tony, when the omega came downstairs and tried to wake him. Tony had gone very still land for one horrible moment Bucky was convinced that he would run away, would hate him, that he had nearly hurt his mate and he deserved to… but instead Tony had taken a deep shaky breath and reached out.

  
They had slept together, that night. Tony let him burry his nose against his neck and breath until the smell of _safeomegahome_ drove the lingering panic far, far away. They fell asleep like that, twisted up on a couch far too small for one. When they woke up the next morning Bucky’s back and shoulder was killing him - and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so good.  
\-------------------  
They talked a lot over the next several days.

  
Bucky told Tony about about growing up. How his mother, an omega and an absolute spitfire of a woman, had him when she was seventeen.  
 _“The way I heard the story, she dragged my Da to the courthouse by the ear. Told him that if she was going to be a Ma he sure as heck would be there too.”_ How she had then turned around and kicked the man out for cheating a few years later, even though she had two young children. How she had worked day and night to provide for them.

  
“The wedding ring is actually from her omega father.” He nodded to Tony’s hand. “He gave it to her after he found out about the wedding. Shook his head and said that it was a bad start but she was a woman now and she deserved a proper gift. She wore it till the day she died.”  
\----------------  
Tony shyly admitted that he thought of Jarvis and Ana as more family than his parents (and the fact that he looked as if he expected Bucky to judge him for that made it all the worse.)

  
About Howard, who was too busy and too angry, and his mother who was too preoccupied with her own troubles to know what to do with a child. About being so smart that no one ever imagined that he would be anything but an alpha.

  
“I mean Howard still knocked me around and nothing I did was ever good enough but… at least it felt like somewhere in there he wanted me to be good enough. But then I presented and I think he felt like I had tricked him. He told me once that it made him sick that he had ever thought I could possibly be a Stark.” The plate that Bucky was washing cracked between his fingers. It was pure luck that he didn’t slice his hand open.

  
“I mean it could have been worse though. I still got to go to college. Got my masters and everything. And then I ended up here.” Tony shrugged. “It could have been worse I guess.” Bucky focused very hard on picking up every shard of plate.  
\----------------  
Bucky explained how they had come back to the U.S. and everything was different.  
“I came back and the first thing they had to tell me was that Mom had passed. Two years before. Becca lives on the other side of the country now. She flew in of course but it felt all wrong. I don’t think either of us knew how to cope. First she had to grieve for me then mom and then I came back so different. We talk sometimes but… it’s not the same.”  
\--------------  
Winter had no memories before their capture. In his mind they were born on the cold metal table where they cut off his arm.  
“We did what we were told. We killed. For a long time we didn’t know that we should feel bad for it.” It felt wrong to Tony for him to be the one crying, but they hugged him all the same.

  
“I don’t want to be a weapon any more.” It was whispered so softly Tony could almost believe that he imagined it; except that he could feel the rumble of the words in Winter’s chest.  
\----------------  
Tony talked about how Ana died his first year of college. About being there for the funeral then having to go back and hide everything because how do you explain that you're dying inside because a servant died?

  
"I thought we were going to lose Jarvis too. Without her he just looked… lost. But he came around slowly. He says that she would give him hell if he didn't stay around and keep an eye on things."

  
Bucky recounted how hard it had been at first. How the VA counselors didn’t know what to do with him and how he spent months on Steve’s couch refusing to do more than eat and sleep.

“I’m still more broken than not” he admitted. “The first time I told Stevi about Winter he flipped out. He hates the idea that anything has changed. Keeps saying that I’m still his Bucky. But I’m not, you know? I don’t know if I’ll ever be all fixed up but I’m gonna keep trying.” His smile is adorably bashful. “We both want to be good for you.”  
\----------  
“You seem very comfortable with the whole” Tony waved his hand vaguely and Bucky shrugged.

  
“Don’t have much choice do I? Winter was the only reason I survived so I figure I owe him. You were one of the first things we agreed on though.”

  
“Oh?”

  
“Uhuh, we saw you and he started whispering poetry in my ear.” A smile twitched at his lips and Tony had the distinct impression that Winter was threatening to mess with his phone settings again. Apparently that had been the way that they first started communicating. Who knew that changing the netflix password to “fuckyouandyouyourbakingshows” was the first step toward a stable relationship?  
\-------------  
Bucky made a point of asking to meet Rhodey next time they skyped. He even won his grudging approval by looking thoroughly cowed and earnestly promising to let the Captain kick his ass if anything happened to Tony.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Bucky went to work for the first time in the week and a half since the wedding. Apparently he took shifts part-time as at Steve’s auto repair shop. 

“I can’t do much with the bum arm, but I do what I can.” He looked so ashamed that Tony fairly _itched_ to get his hands on the prosthetic and make it better. Bucky kept it covered with long sleeves and a glove but from what he could see the thing was an affront to mechanics and technology - it might even be _Hammer tech_. He had been working up the courage to ask since the wedding. 

Late in the afternoon Bucky came home with a smear of grease across his cheek and sweat sticking his t-shirt sticking to his back (not that he was _looking_ or anything) and asked Tony if he wanted to have dinner at Steve and Natasha’s house tomorrow.

“Nat’s dying to meet you, but it’s ok if you’re not ready yet either.” Then he had gone to shower - only to be interrupted half way through by an earsplitting explosion. Apparently tinfoil should not go in the microwave. Who made up these rules?

Bucky had thanked him for the attempted cooking, then suggesting going out for Italian. 

\------------

The Rogers’ house was not what he was expecting at all. For one thing it was an apartment over the garage. They circled around to the side of the building, up a set of stairs, and Bucky didn’t bother to knock before motioning him into a large, brightly lit, kitchen.

“We’re here! We brought pie!” Bucky’s shout brought a tousle headed man tumbling down from on top of that refrigerator, where he had apparently been sleeping? He blinked at the two of them then grinned.

“Aww you got yourself a cutie! I’m totally jealous. Is that big oaf treating you right Bambi?” 

He was a beta but that was still beyond forward... and a redheaded woman materialized in the room and smacked the blond upside the head.

“Behave yourself Clint!” Then she glided over to clap Bucky on the arm and offer Tony a firm handshake.

“And you would be Tony. It’s really good to meet you. You’ll have to forgive Clint, he was born in a dumpster and hasn't improved much since then.” 

Probably hearing the ruckus, Steve appeared from the other side of the room, hopping on one foot and trying to tie his shoe at the same time. 

“Hi Buck! Tony, it’s good to see you. I see you’ve already met our stray cat.” (Said cat stuck his tongue out and grinned.)

\---------------

Tony had met Steve briefly at the wedding. The alpha was intimidatingly tall with an overpowering scent that somehow reminded him of fireworks and patriotism? At the time he had looked tense and smelled angry but tonight he seemed relaxed; switching between joking with Bucky and holding Nat on his lap like a love sick newlywed. Clint was interduced as “Natasha’s partner, a dam fine shot, and certified nut case.” Witch made no sense on multiple levels. The confusion must have showed because both Clint and Natasha burst out laughing.

“Work partner only, I like my men _far_ more obedient than that walking disaster.” She reached back from her perch on Steve’s lap and patted the alpha’s cheek, “Like this one.” It was kinda cute how the hulking alpha turned beet red. 

Apparently she and Clint were spies of some sort (“ _Retired spies_ , if only Fury would remember it!”) and Clint lived on-and-off in their guest room.

“Steve pouts something awful every time she has to leave and we all just pretend to ignore it” Bucky teased.

From there the conversation flowed to other topics. Business at the garage, the self defense classes that Natasha was teaching, the movie star that Clint swore looked just like him.

“I’m just saying, they could have hired me and then they wouldn’t have had to get a stunt double for the shooting scenes!” (Apparently this was an old gripe, judging by the rolled eyes, and laughter.)

Slowly Tony felt himself relax. The chatter swirled around him and when Bucky lifted his arm and shot him a questioning glace (“ _May I?”)_ he let himself snuggle into the alpha’s heat and nearly purred when Bucky wrapped a gentle arm around his shoulders. Never so tight that Tony couldn’t move if he wanted to. It felt… safe. 

\-----------------

Tony knew that he and Bucky-Winter were skirting closer and closer to… intimacy. It started with comforting each other and despite himself Tony found himself... not hating it. The alpha asked permission every time ( _May I? Would you like? Is this ok?)_ always with the same shy, hopeful, look; and Tony felt himself melt a little more each time. 

The first time Tony said no, it was an experiment. He wasn’t sure what he expected to happen, but Bucky smiling at him and telling him thank you (“ _I’m happy you feel safe enough to tell me no.”)_ wasn’t on the list. ( _Ok, maybe it was more than “not hating it” but Tony still wasn’t ready to admit to_ wanting it _or anything_.)

But they still hadn't talked about the elephant in the room.

Traditionally a couple mated immediately after the wedding. Technically sex wasn’t necacary but it did a good job of ensuring that the appropriate hormones were present when the alpha bit the mating gland and triggered the mating bond. Of course the bite also tended to trigger a heat and then sex would happen regardless. After a bond was formed couples could either continue to strengthen it or if they separated the scar would eventually fade from the omega’s neck. Not that separation was usually an option, the induced heat almost guaranteed conception.

The whole idea scared him. Not just the act (although he still had his doubts about the supposed pleasure that an omega received from it) but also the aftermath. Tony tried to imagine his belly full of pups, the so-called “miracle” of birth, of being a good omega housewife caring for litter after litter. 

No matter how kind and gentle they had been with him, the reality of the situation hadn't changed. It didn’t matter how much he liked the musk that was uniquely _Bucky_ . Or how he felt tingly and warm every time Winter brushed his fingers through his hair. In the end two plus two still made four. Besides, just because he was sweet outside of the bedroom, didn’t mean that Bucky or Winter still wouldn’t have _expectations_ once they actually were doing it _._

The spiraling thoughts made his stomach clench and churn. Stark men were made of iron. He was supposed to be smart, but here he was almost crying because he couldn’t bring himself to do the one thing he was literally _made to do_ \- let his alpha fuck him.

Bucky immediately moved his arm when Tony pulled away, mumbling something about needing to use the restroom. It wasn’t even a lie, he barely got the door closed before his stomach rejected lunch. Part of him wished that Bucky would just push him down and get it over with, maybe it would even fix whatever was wrong with him. 

\----------

The other’s traded concerned looks when Tony suddenly whispered something about needing to go to the bathroom and all but ran out of the room. Bucky immediately moved to follow but Natasha shook her head and motioned for him to stay. The last thing Tony needed was an overprotective alpha hovering around him when he was already overwhelmed. 

\----------

The water felt cool against his face. Tony let himself stand in front of the sink for another minute before forcing himself to dry his hands and unlock the door. It would be rude to spent the rest of the evening hiding in the bathroom.

“Are you ok?”

Tony jumped and spun around to face the woman lurking in the hallway. Was he in trouble already?

“I, um, sorry you just startled me, I’m fine, just fine! Everything’s ok!” He was babbling damn it. Biting his lip until it stung effectively stopped the flow of words. He had the disconcerting feeling that the other omega saw right through him anyway. All she did was nod and lay a gentle hand on his arm.

“Want to see my gym? We can let the alphas talk about their precious cars in peace and do something actually fun.” She led him across the house to a room that looked almost as large as the rest of the apartment.

“There actually was a second apartment here before. But when I moved in we remodeled a bit.” 

“Gym” really wasn’t the right word for it. It was more like a giant jungle gym, with metal bars sticking out at odd angles from the floor to the second story ceiling. There were normal things like a treadmill and free weights but also a rack of swords and other weapons ( _were those arrows embedded in the ceiling?)_ littered around. The majority of the floor was padded. It was… really, really cool. Natasha grinned back at him.

“I was being serious about the whole spy thing. Started out working for the not-so-good guys, went free agent for a while, and finally ended up here: married and semi retired from the more-or-less good guys. Certainly not where I though I’d end up. Here.” She tossed him something made of hard rubber. On closer inspection is turned out to be a knife.

“Knifes were always my specialty. Want to learn a trick or two?”

\------------

Time passed in a blur. Natasha (or Nat, as he quickly fell into calling her) was a good teacher. She showed him how to hold the knife and gut someone five different ways before they could blink. Then they moved on to throwing real knives at a target. Tony was surprisingly good, years of working with small fiddly things making it easy to judge amount of strength to put behind the throw and figuring the trajectories was just simple geometry.

After an hour Tony was a sweaty mess, Nat looked as fresh as she had when they started, and Clint stuck his head in to announce that dinner was ready. Just before they exited the gym other omega shooed Clint ahead of them and caught Tony’s eye.

“I get that your’re worried, you me we get that just because an alpha acts sweet doesn't mean crap, but tell him what you need and Bucky will treat you right. And if he doesn't, you call me and I’ll cut his balls off.”

There was no question in his mind that she was dead serious.

\---------------

Dinner was fun. They ate Chinese take out and drank wine and everyone was laughing and trying to outdo each other with ridiculous stories. Wich of course meant that Tony had to put his foot firmly in his mouth.

“... I’ve learned more Russian swear words from Winter than the whole the time I…” Only for the words to stick in his throat when the laughter stilled. Steve had a _look_ on his face, Bucky was staring at his plate, and everyone else was looking between the two alphas. After an uncomfortable moment the tension passed but the general tso chicken felt like led in his belly. How did he always do the wrong thing even when he was trying so hard to be good?

\-------------

It didn’t really surprise Tony when Steve pulled him aside under the pretense of helping to clear the table.

“Winter isn’t real.” 

_Nothing made Howard as furious as when Tony was weak in front of guests._

“Bucky needs to focus on getting back to his old self, not start believing in this “other person” thing again.” 

_Stop acting like a worthless omega. Stark men are made of iron._

“Let’s get this clear right now; I don’t care about your sob story, Bucky has gone through too much to loose all his progress over an omega.”

The sneer in Steve’s voice cut through him. _Worthless omega._ This was Bucky’s best friend. Was that why Bucky hadn't bonded him yet? Was he thinking about returning him? Or maybe Steve take matters into his own hands? There were a lot of things that could happen to an omega, even more so for one with no bond. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. 

_Keep it together._

Steve pushed past him and Tony willed his legs stop shaking. 

_Keep it together._

If you asked him, Tony couldn’t have told you a single thing that happened the rest of that evening.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok there are going to be two new chapters today. This one is all Tony/Bucky/Winter and the next one will see Steve get his comeuppance. Thank you for all the comments and notes. It's a wonderful feeling to know that people are enjoying (or furious at characters in) my story!

It was late when they got back home. Bucky hoped that bringing Tony had been the right call. It seemed that he and Nat got along (apparently his mate could match Nat throw-for-throw with knives. That really shouldn’t turn him on as much as it did.  _ Our mate is strong,  _ Winter interjects approvingly.) But then Steve had had to go and make everything uncomfortable at dinner and Tony had gone quiet again. Really that punk could be so stubborn at times.

“You can come up stairs with me.”

Before Bucky could really process what Tony meant, the omega bolted up the staircase. When Bucky followed at a slightly less breakneck speed, he was greeted with the sight of a very naked Tony. 

“T-Tony?” Bucky’s mouth felt too dry to form the sounds. There was his mate, his Tony, spread out in front of him putting every fantasy he’d ever had to shame… except that it was  _ wrong. _ Tony was on his stomach his head half hidden under his arms. Instead of the manic energy that usually radiated off the omega there was only tense stillness. 

It reminded him of the way that targets would freeze after a long chase. No matter how hard they ran the Soldier could run farther and when they realized that they would crumble. Some instinct telling them that if they held perfectly still the monster couldn’t see them.  _ Where they Tony’s monster? _

“I’m ready alpha.” One of the things Bucky loved about Tony was how expressive his voice was. Right now his tone was… blank. In his head Winter howled.  _ What did we do? _

“I don’t think…” 

_ “Monster. Murder.”  _ The voices in their head sounded pleased with themselves. “ _ Did you really think he would trust you? That you could deserve him. Look how frightened he is. Frightened of you…”  _

“Don’t you want me?” Tony’s voice hitched in the middle and now he sounded half a second away from crying. Bucky felt like his feet had frozen into the floor. “Alpha? ...Bucky?” Acting on instinct, Bucky was across the room and gathering the omega into his arms.

“No doll, I mean of course I want you, we both want you! But...” Tony buried his face in the crook of his shoulder and Bucky could feel his heart beating wildly. It reminded him of an animal caught in a trap. “What happened Doll?” 

\-------------

It took almost an hour to get any thing from Tony. He’d wrapped the brunet up in a blanket and kept him close, petting his hair and trying to help him calm down. Eventually the story came out.

“I don’t want to go back… you haven’t bonded me… Steve said…” At the mention of his friend’s name, the niggling worry that hat been bothering him since dinner became a blaring klaxon.

“What exactly did Steve say to you?” Bucky though that he deserved a medal for keeping his voice even. Winter was… considerably less calm. Then the tears had started in earnest. 

“I’m sorry! I don't want to make you worse. I keep trying to be good for you! But I’m bad and broken and you are so nice to me. I know I don’t deserve it, and I thought…” 

The only thing that kept him from putting a fist through the wall was the knowledge that it would scare Tony further.

\----------

People said that having a mate changed your priorities. Bucky had always though that that was stupid. People were people and loving someone else wasn’t an excuse for your own actions. Now he got it.

He  _ really  _ wanted to go have it out with Steve. Immediately. The very idea the anyone, let alone someone he considered to be a brother, had frightened his omega made him seethe. Punching the other alpha’s lights out would feel good; but right now Tony was more important. So instead of letting himself fall into the stew of anger he took a deep breath and tried to channel the feelings.

\-----------

“Would you like to build a nest? I bet you could engineer up something amazing.”

An omega’s nest was their safe place. A cozy den constructed from soft things and items that smelled like people they trusted. Internally he kicked himself for not making sure that Tony had everything he needed for a nest before this. Helping to build one with a mate was a traditional bonding activity but he really hadn't expected how much  _ fun  _ it could be.

Hours later every blanket, pillow, sheet, and towel in the house had been moved into the bedroom. Tony was animatedly trying to explain why it was totally feasible to add a third turret and they were both giggling like school children. Finally, when things were more or less settled, Tony dived into the structure looking happier than Bucky had ever seen him before. Bucky took a deep breath, this next part was going to be hard.

“Um Tony, would it be ok with you if Winter came out now? He’s really worried about you too.” Tony’s head popped back out and he seemed to be searching Bucky’s face for something. Finally he nodded and ducked back into the tent.

\--------------

Feeling things was still confusing for him. When they made him Winter was not allowed to have emotions. It obeyed or they hurt it. When they had seen their mate laying there asking to be taken it felt like being in the middle of a storm. So many things that he had no names for battering at him. He  _ wanted. _ When it came to Tony he wanted so many things.

“I will keep watch. You rest.” 

A predator did not belong in an omega’s nest. Something very much like pain twisted in his chest. If his mate was smart he would tell them to go away. He could see that Tony was safe. It was more than he deserved.

“Come here. Please?” Tony’s face peaked around the sheet that made the “door” of the nest. “I… I want you here.”

“Am I allowed to enter?”

Tony reached forward first touching his hand, then twisting their fingers together and pulling him forward. Winter followed. With Tony he would always follow.

“Winter?”

“Yes?”

The floor had been padded with layers upon layers of blankets and pillows. Tony was curled up in the center of the mound.

“I’m sorry I did the wrong thing. Bucky… he said that it might help if we talked about it. Um… someone said that you were a bad thing in Bucky’s head. I, I care about you and it scared me that I was hurting you… I’m really sorry.”

_ “Why is Tony apologizing?” Maybe Bucky understood what was going on. _

_ “Because we were upset. He cares about us. He got confused about why there is two of us. You need to explain that you don’t hurt me.” _

_ “I’m bad at explaining.” _

_ “So practice. Come on, is the big bad winter soldier scared?”  _ His other half could be a jerk. He was going to hide his toothbrush again.

\--------------

It wasn’t hard to know when Winter was in control. Their whole posture changed, not to mention the difference in speech pattern.

“Steven is Bucky’s friend. He is in many of Bucky’s old memories. He dose not like me. He wants Bucky to be like he used to be. We can not do that though. We chose you, both Bucky and I, and you will stay with us until you do not want us any more. Bucky says that he will speak to Steven but he means that he is going to hit him. Then I am going to hit him very hard. No one touches our Tony.”

The nest smelled like  _ them _ . Winter and Bucky’s smell mixed with his own. It smelled like home. He  _ wanted this. _ The thought came as a shock. He  _ wanted _ these alphas, not just physically but…  _ oh. _

“I love you. Both of you. I want you too. Forever.” The smile on Winter’s face was beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7

“How many pups do you want alpha?” They were eating breakfast. Bucky’s breakfast spewed out of his mouth as he suddenly started choking.

“WH-What?” Ok this was hilarious.

“Pups. You know when an alpha and an omega love each other very much…” If they were in a cartoon Bucky’s eyes would be the size of his head right now.

“Uuuuuuuuh…”

“I’m just saying, I’m going to have my heat eventually weather we do anything before or not.”

“Do you  _ want  _ pups?” Well that was not the response he had expected. Maybe…

“Would you be angry with me if I didn’t?” Tony held his breath, but instead of anger Bucky seemed to relax.

“I, um both me and Winter, we kinda aren’t sure if we want pups. But like If you…”

Tony was pretty sure that he shouldn’t be laughing but all he felt was relief.

“I don’t like the idea much either. I know it’s not normal but, I’m kinda a bad omega any way so I guess that’s why.”

“No! I mean, it’s alright. Is that why you are scared about, um, sex?” It was really too cute to see Bucky blush like a omega with their first crush.

“That’s a lot of it. I, well I, was pretty scared about everything really. But now, well I really kinda like you, so yeah.”

By the time that they had the breakfast dishes washed Bucky had agreed set up an appointment with an “omega’s health specialist” and Tony had gotten a call from Pepper asking if he could meet later that day for coffee. Bucky offered to drop him off. 

Tony stood on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to the alpha’s cheek, “I love you!” Then darted off to get changed.

“... love you too.” Bucky’s smile was wider than he could ever remember it being before.  _ So this is what it feels like to be in love. _

\------------- 

After he dropped Tony off (and survived the scathing look that Pepper threw his way) Bucky turned his truck toward Steve’s place. 

_ “We are not going to kill him Winter. Understand?” _

_ “He hurt Tony. He deserves it.” _

_ “We can’t protect him if we go to jail.”  _ Winter muttered something about how  _ he  _ would never get caught but seemed to be willing to go with the plan. Bucky parked and gave himself a minute just to breath. He was angry. Angry at Steve, but also at himself. He had let this go to far, telling himself that Steve was just being stubborn. It was time to have it out.  _ And punch him, Winter adds. _

“Bucky! What happened? You haven't been answering your…

Thwack.

Bucky’s fist caught the taller man squarely across the jaw. He dropped like a stone.

“If I were you I’d stay down.” His voice was ice.

“Please… Bucky this isn’t you” Steve wasn’t listening, he never listened.

The second punch sprayed blood across the blond’s face, his nose now sitting at an angle nature never intended it to.

“I said stay  **DOWN.** ” 

“Bu…”

“You hurt Tony. You lied to him and you scared him. For the kid who went around fighting every bully he could find you sure seem ok with being one when it suites you.

“I…”

“NO. You aren’t getting this. You touched my mate and that’s why you got hit. I know you looked for me and you saved my life, but that doesn't give you the right to decided who I am or what’s right for me. I quit.” He slapped the keys to the garage down on the counter and turned to face Steve again. “You’ll always be my brother Steve but you touch Tony again and it’s not going to be Winter who kills you. It will be me.”

The walk to the truck felt like a marathon. He pulled out of the driveway only to have to pull off a mile down the road and wait until his hands stopped shaking. For once Winter didn’t tease him for the weakness. They sat there until their breathing evened out and the adrenaline faded away.

\--------------------

Once the anger faded he expected panic. He had quit his job. Steve was pretty much the last of his family. What happened now? But instead of fear he felt… free. The counselor had talked a lot about “reclaiming himself.” Maybe this was what she had meant. 

He could go anywhere, do anything. He and Tony. Slowly a plan began to form in the back of his mind. A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he turned the keys in the ignition. It was time to go pick up Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this one is pretty short. Don't worry there is more to come. Things with Steve are going to get more fully resolved and I wonder what Bucky's plan is...


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha has a few things to say to Steve...

_ (Three years ago, somewhere overseas) _

“So what’s a star-spangled patriot like you doing in a commie bar like this?” She let the accent that had been trained out of her years ago bleed into her words; as much a part of her performance as the perfectly styled hair, the calculatedly low cut of her dress.

“I need help.” Natasha watched him over the rim of her glass, meeting a potential client was always a chancy endeavor. It was best to expect nothing - and be prepared for anything. 

“I need help and you’re the last option I’ve got.” She spun their bodies, pressing him against the wooden counter and brushing her lips across the shell of his ear. 

“Are you sure this is the way you want to go? You get caught here and there’s gonna be a whole lot of questions about your loyalties,  _ Captain.  _ You get in bed with me - oh stop blushing, it’s just a figure of speech - you’re not looking at a slap on the wrist. You understand that, right?” Her lips were too close to his skin for anyone watching to lip read, let alone pick up the audio, the appearance of seduction covering a more practical objective. 

The report had described him as “a lose cannon” and “grief stricken.” But there was nothing unstable about the man caught between her and the bartop. The fact that he had found her spoke to his skill and his presence suggested resolve to see this through. No, Captain Steven Grant Rogers of the United States Armed Forces wasn’t grieving, he was angry - and that made him very interesting indeed. 

They broke apart, both ignoring the leering look from the barkeeper.

“One more thing Captain America, you going to have any issue taking orders from an omega?” Despight the blush his voice was steady. 

“No ma’am. None at all.”

(Present)

“So what did you do to earn that?” 

Steve took the wet rag with a grunt. His right eye was already turning a brilliant shade of purple and his nose kept leaking blood. 

“Didn’t do a damn thing!” Natasha Rushmund hadn’t been called the Black Widow for nothing, she simply raised one eyebrow and waited. 

“Fine, I might have had a few words with Tony yesterday. Someone needed to do it!” The eyebrow turned into a tight lipped glare. 

“The last thing Bucky needs is someone pushing the whole “other person” garbage on him. I don’t know what his game is but Bucky needs people who care for him not some omega with a sob story making everything worse!” 

One of her teachers had told them to “make their voice calm like a frozen lake, and hide your explosives under the ice.” 

“So let me see if I have this straight. You decided to threaten an abused omega because you decided that he’s not good enough for your friend? And it never occurred to you that it might go over badly? At all?”

Anyone with  _ any  _ good sense should be able to hear the bomb ticking. So of course Steve continued to hold his nose and pout.

“Abused? Please. He’s a spoiled rich kid who pissed off Daddy then decided to use Bucky’s good heart to get himself out of the mess. I mean he probably…”

Even Steve knew to shut up when a blade embedded itself in the wall half a centimeter from his ear.

“That  _ spoiled rich kid  _ looked to Bucky for permission every time before he opened his damn mouth! The way he favors his right arm indicates a badly healed spiral fracture and the way he throws with his left makes me suspect his shoulder has been dislocated often enough to build up scar tissue. When I found him in the bathroom he was seconds away from a panic attack and he clearly expected to be punished for it. He looks at Bucky like it’s the first kindness he’s had in years and from what I know about his family it damn well may be! And then you decided to go back him into a corner and threaten him. When did you become a fucking bully Steve?”

The alpha had become progressively more pale as she ranted and by the time she was finished he had sunk to the floor.

“Fuck. I… I didn’t know.” Natasha bit back the irritable “it shouldn’t have mattered if you knew or not” and let the information continue to sink in. “What do I do Nat? I just keep fucking this up.”

He made a pitiful sight, shirt splattered with blood, head in his hands, knees pulled against his chest - part of her wanted to comfort him, another part was still furious.

“You’re going to have to figure that out for yourself.” He nodded, eyes still on the ground. She crosses the room and tips his chin up, checking that the blood had stopped and running gentle fingers through his hair. The blond leaned into the touch. 

“You know that Sam’s offer to talk with someone is always good. God knows, between the two of you, I think it’s Bucky who is handling the whole brainwashed-POW-coming back from the dead thing better.”

This isn't about Tony as much as it is. Survivor's guilt is a bitch and sometimes finding what you wanted is as hard as losing it to begin with. 

He nods again and pushes himself onto his feet. It’s a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick summary of how Nat and Steve met: 
> 
> Steve and Bucky were deployed together when their convoy was hit by Hydra, a terrorist group they were sent to fight. Steve was pinned under his humvee and knocked unconscious but he swore that he saw Bucky being dragged off, still alive. The official reports listed him as dead, due to both the amount of blood found (his arm was severely injured) and no one wanting to admit that they lost a man to the bad guys. 
> 
> Steve spent the next several years fighting tooth and nail for someone, anyone, to help him find and save his friend. The only reason he wasn't dishonorably discharged was that it would be a PR nightmare to kick out the highly decorated hero who was clearly suffering from PTSD. He still was encouraged to voulentiartaly retire, witch he eventually did. 
> 
> After running through the last of his favors and contacts within the US he got in touch with Natasha through a friend of a friend's old CIA buddy. They met and struck out on their own. 
> 
> Eventually Sam, a retired Air Force paratrooper, and Nick Furry, the leader of SHEILD a shadowy intelligence agency that nominally operated under the power of the UN, became involved.
> 
> In the end they found Buck, got proof that Hydra had planned the attack that killed Sam's partner, and Furry convinced Natasha (and by extension Clint) to freelance for him when they got tired of retirement. 
> 
> Steve and Natasha eloped a few months after they got back to the US, with Clint and Bucky as their witnesses. Clint has colonized their spare bedroom and despite his protests the archer has grown on Steve (like a fungus.) In this world Lara is married to Barry, Clint's brother, but he regularly checks up on her and the kids when his brother pulls another disappearing act.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _Warm._ The covers were twisted and none of Tony’s half asleep attempts at kicking them did anything but further tangle them.

“Shh, too early…” The warmth shifted and, _ohh that was nice,_ now he was cuddled against a well muscled, broad, chest. _Nice, safe, alpha._ The chest made such a good pillow, it would be an absolute travesty not to snuggle into it. _My alpha. Mine, mine, mine._ Somewhere in the back of his brain there was the niggling feeling that he should be alarmed by this; but right now the world was perfect and all he wanted was to lie there and doze.

The next time he woke it was to an amused chuckle.

“I promise I’m not gonna run away from ya Doll.” Every night since they had built the nest together Bucky had joined him in the… _their_ bed, but that was as far as they had gone.

“I must say you have quite the grip for someone so scrawny.”

“I’m not scrawny!” Tony pulled back from where he had apparently been impersonating a koala against Bucky’s chest and stuck his tongue out. “You are just ridiculously big!”

“If you say so Sweetheart.” Tony huffed and tried to glare, although the effect was somewhat ruined when he also flopped down and reclaimed Bucky’s shoulder as a pillow.

“What’s the matter? Have I got grease on my face or something?” The alpha had half curled around him and was staring down, eyes blown wide and dark.

“ _Tony._ ” No one had ever whispered his name like that before; somewhere between a growl and a prayer. Slowly, giving Tony every chance to pull away, Bucky reached for him. Brushing tentative fingers across his face, his jaw, and down his throat, petting at the place where the omega’s pulse pounded under his fingertips. 

_When you hold the soldering iron to a joint there is always a moment of tension. An in between where the flux waits, shimmering, before it finally melts into the heat._

When Bucky cupped his cheek and brought their lips together Tony let out a growl and rushed to meet the flames.

\-------

Kissing Tony was like trying to hold a live wire. The omega gave as good as he got, nipping at his lips and writhing against him when Bucky pulled the smaller man onto his chest. 

“Fuck, Doll we need to...” It felt impossible to stop, to ease Tony to the side and push himself away from the perfection that was kissing his mate, to listen to the unhappy whine that Tony made; but somehow he did it. “...if we keep going we don’t have protection for a heat. Don’t get me wrong, I _really_ want to keep going but yeah, that’s my dick talking.”

“I never knew someone's dick to be capable of complex though before.” Something about his mate sass him while still flushed and panting made his heart twist. He was so, so, gone on this man.

“Well, generally speaking they aren’t. Just mighty insistent.” Bucky gave himself a moment to savor Tony’s giggle and blush, before following his omega out of bed and toward the siren call of the coffee maker. He had already come to accept that coffee was Tony’s first love; he would just have to make sure that he was firmly in the number two slot.

\--------------

At some point after breakfast Tony had disappeared into his lair/workshop. It had started when he unpacked the luggage that Jarvis had sent over and was overjoyed to find a collection of tools that Bucky could only guess the purpose of. Fixing the water heater was the first project (the thing was god-only-knows how old and now somehow now could produced unlimited hot water instead of the fifteen minutes-and-then-back-to-freezing that it used do) and from there basement had quickly become Tony’s domain. 

The brunet didn’t even looked up from the bits of wire and what looked suspiciously like the washing machine motor that had been spread over the floor when Bucky came down to ask if there was anything he needed from the grocery store. Shaking his head Bucky had smiled fondly and left the genus to it. An hour latter when he returned Tony was nowhere to be found. 

\------------

All he had wanted to do was get some things from the hardware store so he could finish the part. If he could just tweak the power differential, he was _certain_ that he could rebuild it, 43% smaller, but if he reset that bit... Head full of schematics, Tony decided to walk to the store that he vaguely remembered being… somewhere near here. 

It had taken quite a while to first find the place and then to convince the asshole clerk that, yes he knew what a voltage meter was and that his money was just as green without an alpha at his side. By the time he was letting himself back into the house he was feeling pretty good. Bucky might not complain about it, but it was impossible to miss the way that he rubbed his prosthetic arm when it started to hurt. Or the way that it tended to jam when he tried to use it for more than simple tasks. Tony figured that he was not be the best mate to be stuck with but this he could do. He _wanted_ to do this, make something for Bucky to show him how much he was grateful for everything. Besides he had been building guns since he was six years old, building a new arm should be easy.

“Where the hell were you?”

Bucky’s tone was furious, arms crossed across the same chest that had seemed so safe and comforting this morning. The alpha’s glare made part of him want to crumple and whimper, anything to make things go back to being nice and good. Except Tony had never been one to listen those instincts. He glares right back, his own anger flaring.

“I was out.”

“Well would it have killed you to leave a note or something? Or do you _like_ scaring me half to death?” It was still Bucky talking, but he could hear Winter at the edges of his voice. Tony wondered if Winter would be better or worse. Or maybe they both would take a turn _expressing_ their anger.

“You said I could do what I wanted _alpha_. I just though that you were a man of your word.” He was pushing and he knew it. He should just close his mouth, show his neck and hope that Bucky would calm down. Simple. But he couldn’t. Couldn't shut his mouth; not with the storm of anger, fear, disappointment, even a strange sort of anticipation all tangled together in his throat. There was a reason he had had so many bruises over the years. “Or maybe you could just chain me up. Make sure you always know where I am.”

“ _Fuck you_.” Bucky’s good hand was clenched, but he was still across the room, had made no move toward him. “All I’m asking for is the courtesy of a fucking note before you disappear. Fuck you for making me the bad guy here.”

Suddenly it’s all too much, he can’t breath. Can’t cope with the knowledge that he’s the worst mate in the world, or the bitterness that instead of praising his project Bucky was mad. That the only thing he can do is build, and apparently even that isn’t good enough. He whirled, lunging for the stairs, taking them two at a time, until he is alone in his workshop. 

Slowly the adrenaline burst fades into a horrible lingering ache. He stood there, watching the door, counting the numbers of pie in his head, waiting for Bucky to come after him. By the time he reached the hundred and sixteenth digit the door had still not moved.

\------------

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ What was _wrong_ with him? When he had come home and Tony was nowhere to be found he had _panicked_. Images of Hydra coming for Tony, or maybe Howard deciding to drag him away by force, danced through his head. It was only thanks to Winter that he had been able to work through the fear and keep moving. 

_Check the scene. He wouldn't have left without a struggle._ They scoured the house, walked the block, even accosted their next door neighbor to see if she had heard anything. Nothing was out of place.

Then Tony had appeared carrying shopping bags. It took less than a second to put two and two together and only a second more for the self loathing to kick in. _What kind of person can’t find their mate for a few minutes and panics like that? What the fuck was wrong with him?_ And then his mouth was opening and he was yelling and Tony was firing back… Right up until he watched Tony’s face crumple and run from the room. 

_You scared him. You promised he would be safe with you and now he’s terrified. Monster. You’re just as bad as_ them _._

He had to apologize, make it right. Maybe after that he could explain why he had been scared, but first he had to fix this. Bucky’s hand was on the doorknob when another thought hit him. Tony had ran into the basement to get away from him, to be safe. Only the worst kind of bully would chase him down and corner him. 

He sunk to the floor, back against the wall, head in his hands. Maybe, maybe, in a while Tony would feel safe enough to come back up stairs (or even come back up to yell at him more) and then he could explain. Until then he had to wait. Wait and hope that he hadn't ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him.

\--------------

When he was upset Tony tinkered. It was the one constant in his life: getting lost in a project was his respite from the rest of the world. Except right now he couldn’t bring himself to even pick up a screwdriver.

It had been hours. At first he had assumed that Bucky would come after him to finish the confrontation. Then, when that didn’t happen he thought that maybe he was being ignored. Let him sit there and work himself into a panic over what would happen next. Or, maybe Bucky wanted him to come crawling back and beg for forgiveness. Then as afternoon turned into evening and crept into night a new thought occurred to him. Maybe Bucky was done with him. Finally convinced that it wasn’t worth the bother to coddle a bad mannerd omega that he hadn't even gotten to fuck yet. Some part of him wondered if he would find that the basement door was locked from the outside; just leave him down here to rot. The rational part of his brain argued that he was being stupid, but logic was scant comfort in the face of terror. Tony wrapped his arms around his knees and tried to will the cold sinking feeling in his stomach away. 

By the time he was fully clear headed again the clock it was past midnight and his fingers ached from clenching them for so long. Part of him wanted to stay there on the floor, if he never moved then he could pretend that everything would be ok. Another part was desperate to find Bucky and have the alpha hold him, tell him that it would be ok. In the end his legs made the decision for him, seemingly without input from his brain. Every stair felt like climbing a mountain. 

The kitchen was pitch black and Tony only made it a step or two before tripping headlong over something that jumped and flailed back.

\-------------

“Aaaaaaah”

“Sorry, sorry!”

Winter _had not_ been sleeping. He was a trained sniper, not to mention feared assassin. The Soldier did not need extraneous things like _sleep._

Except, one moment he had been pushing Bucky back because he couldn’t take the other’s dithering and the next they were snapping to attention and only just catching Tony before he cracked his head on the floor.

“Bucky? Winter? What’s going on?”

“We were waiting for you.” Bucky had worked himself into a tizzy but to Winter the situation was clear: they would sit here until Tony decided to forgive them. Now that they were faced with actually having to say the words though, the whole thing seemed a lot more perilous. 

“We’re sorry. Bucky… both of us... we though that you had been taken. We were scared. Now Bucky is afraid that you won’t ever forgive him.”

“Are you angry at me too?” Tony was standing next to him and for once Winter had no idea what his mate was thinking.

“I was angry, yes, but also scared. Now I’m just sorry. Are you still angry with us?” 

There was a long pause before he found himself with his lap full of sobbing omega as Tony did his best to wrap himself around them like a blanket. 

“I’m sorry too! I was horrible and I though that you would never take me back and I was so, so scared…” Bucky would have probably known what to say to calm their mate but Winter simply cradled him close until the tears ran themselves dry.

“Never. As long as you will have us we will never leave you.” He could feel when Tony nodded against his shoulder and for the first time he thought that the younger man might actually be beginning to believe them.

“Time for bed возлюбленная (sweetheart.)” He helped Tony stand up and guided their now pliant charge upstairs and into bed. Mechanically he stripped himself and put on sleep clothes before pausing to work out what to do next. He was the Winter Soldier, his job was to keep watch, not to sleep. But when his mate mumbled something that sounded like “come here” and wrapped warm fingers around Winter’s wrist… Winter decided that perhaps he could bend the rules, just this once.

\------------------- 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to the smut!

“The law clearly states… No it does not matter what my secondary gender is!”

Bucky had been sitting in the doctor’s waiting room for less than ten minutes when loud voices began to filter back from the exam area.

“And you are a misogynistic who is currently breaking the law! No, I will most certainly not calm down!”

The door to the waiting room slammed open to show Tony, glaring daggers and still quoting legal statutes, and a red faced beta doctor. Behind the counter the receptionist was trying  _ very  _ hard not to giggle at the sight of her boss getting chewed out.

“Bucky, this asshole wan’t give me birth control unless my alpha assures him that his antiquated view of the world is valid and it’s totally not  _ my  _ idea to decide what happens with my uterus!” Tony stomped over to him, still looking like he was trying to light the offending doctor on fire with his eyes. Bucky fought the urge to hide his face in his hands… or to burst out laughing. Winter had no such qualms.

_ “So smart and feisty, he needs to stand up for himself more often. Needs a knife first though…” _

_ “Or maybe we could try to avoid trouble!”  _ Winter’s only response was an amused snort. 

\-------------

The clinic they found after leaving the doctor’s office was much more helpful. The doctor was an older woman who's secondary gender he couldn’t quite pin down. Probably beta but she almost smelled closer to an omega. Although there were precious few omega doctors so who knew. Either way Tony liked her.

She talked to him like he knew what he was doing and after an exam she didn’t even raise an eyebrow when he asked about his options. An hour later he left the office with an brand new IUD that promised no pups for the next ten years, a bag full of condoms, and a pamphlet that listed counselors and other resources for newly bonded omegas.

“Do you feel safe with your alpha?” she had asked. Tony nodded.

“He cares about me more than I deserve.”

“Somehow I doubt that very much.” Her smile reminds him of Ana a bit. “Sometimes it can help to have someone outside of the situation to talk to. Counselors aren’t just for if you have a problem, they can help you learn to communicate and work through such a big change in your life.”

As they drove home Tony couldn’t keep from sneaking looks at Bucky. Wondering if he was feeling the same excited-nervous-happy-worried mixture that was bubbling in his stomach. Absently he rubbed his fingers over the smooth skin of his neck. For the first time the though of wearing a mark, Bucky’s mark, didn’t seem bad at all.

\------------ 

“Tell me what you want.” He wasn’t sure if he was speaking English or not but Tony was pressed against his front and Winter wasn’t sure if he was  _ breathing  _ or not. It was so  _ much _ , miles and miles of heat and bliss.

_ Tony had been quiet since they got home and they had fallen into an easy rhythm. Tony working on his computer, Bucky fixing dinner, both of them washing up after. And then Tony had turned, pulling them down by the front of their shirt and pressing their lips together and not letting go.  _

“I thought you were supposed to be the experienced one here.” Tony laughed breathlessly and nuzzled against his chest.  _ Oh, that felt good _ . Winter shook his head, trying to gather his thoughts. 

“I’m not… experienced.” He pulled back a little and caught Tony’s beautiful eyes. “Bucky has, but not me. There wasn’t anyone and then I never  _ wanted  _ until you. That’s why, um, we though maybe we could be both our first time together?” 

_ Would Tony be dissapointed? Demand that Bucky come back, someone who actually knew how to please their mate?  _

“I love you,  _ both of you _ .” Suddenly his arms were full of Tony, and the omega was kissing every inch of his face. “I hear it’s like riding a bicycle. You scrape you knees a few time and probably should wear protection!” Tony twisted then, jumping out of his arms and scampering toward the stairs. Winter could no more help growl that rumbled from his throat than he could the hardness in his pants.  _ He wanted. _

In the bedroom Tony seemed to lose his snark, looking shyly up at Winter through eyelashes.

“Do you want me Alpha?” From anyone else it could have sounded like a cheap line not from Tony. Tony who had seen into his soul and still wanted him, wanted them. That trust knocked Winter to his knees. He pressed his forehead against Tony’s chest, mirroring their earlier positions. 

“You are my omega, I belong to you. Tell me what you want my Darling”

“I want you alpha.”

They ended up on the bed, Winter pulled Tony’s shirt off and Tony glared at his pants until he got the hint and stripped the rest of the way.  _ Oh, oh.  _ Tony was spread out under him and he was  _ beautiful. _ Winter stroked worshipful hands down the column of his neck, down his chest, belly, cupping his ass, feeling the slick on his thighs.

“Please Winter, more.” And how could he deny his lover a single thing? The tast of Tony’s slick was addictive. He licked up those strong thighs, burying his nose in the currles of hair where those leg met, then wrapped his lips around the cock jutting out above them. Experimentally he rolled his tongue over the head and Tony  _ screamed. _

He lost track of time then, licking and sucking, chasing the pants and shouts that Tony gave him.

“I’m, I’m gonna…” and Winter swallowed him down one more time and felt as Tony came across the back of his throat. Then it was the most natural thing in the world to ease his blissed out mate over onto his stomach and burry his nose between those perfect cheeks, let his tongue explore the heat and slick between them.

Time stretched, slow and honey sweet. At first Tony was limp under him, then slowly he began to moan in earnest, thrusting back against Winter’s tongue and begging.

“Please, need you, please, fuck me.” It was only when Winter felt the omega’s dick begin to harden again, rutting thoughtlessly against his hand, that he pulled back. He had almost forgot about his own erection. But now the burning aching  _ need  _ came rushing back. He wrapped one arm under Tony’s waist and braced himself against the slick entrance.

“Can I?” And it was Tony who pushed back, not stopping until there was no more space between them - claiming each other.  _ OHHhhhh. _

“More, more.” His Tony pleaded and what could he do but obey?

\------------

He was close, so close. Winter was spread over him, holding him close even while thrusting in and out.  _ It was good _ . Was sex supposed to feel this good? He was close, so so close. All he needed was… Tony rolled his head to the side, offering his neck, panting too hard to even plead. Somehow their alpha understood anyway. 

Winter pulled them up, so he is almost sitting in the larger man's lap, wraps an arm around him holding him securely but oh-so gently.

“Can I? Please Tony, can I?” His alpha is begging! It sears through him like fire and he grinds himself down hard, pleasure streaming through him.

With a moan he twists his head even further to the side; he  _ wants  _ this. Then there are perfect lips on his throat, and one more sharp thrust, and his alpha bites down.

Tony screams as he comes.

\------------

They can feel it as Tony clenches on their cock, triggering their own release and settling their knot deep inside the omeag’s passage. At the same time every nerve in their body is focused on the point of contact between their mouth and Tony’s throat. 

They bite down, Winter and Bucky bleeding into each other until there is just  _ them.  _ Them and their mate, their Tony. All of them separate but connected; together making something more, and new, and _so_ _ beautifully theirs _ .

They lick the blood from their mate’s neck, ease the both of them over until they are curled around each other in their sides. 

“ Я люблю тебя, I love you, my возлюбленная (sweetheart.)” 

In a few minutes they will need to separate, clean up, actually get some sleep. For now though, Winter was content to lie there, holding his mate, and let the future wait for them. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a brief comment about past suicidal ideation but nothing graphic. Otherwise the chapter is pretty much all fluff and feels.

By the time the the bonding heat wore itself out two days later they both were deliciously sore and in desperate need of (another) shower.

“Just sit, I can’t reach otherwise. Why do you have to be so ridiculously tall?” Bucky rolled his eyes at his mate’s antics but obligingly sat. Tony had offered to wash his hair while they showered and Bucky had no complaints with sitting on the edge of the tub and letting those nimble fingers work their way through the tangles.

“You spoil me Doll.” After the last two days of seeing each other in every possible permutation of naked and entangled, it was adorable that a simple complement still made Tony duck his head and blush. Not that he didn’t understand the feeling; every time he looked at his mate Bucky could feel something warm and soft in his chest. Snagging a hand Bucky pressed a quick kiss to Tony’s knuckles. 

Winter had come in and out a few times during the heat, but right now he was equally blissed out and content to let Bucky deal with annoying responsibilities like pants and getting out of bed. He was just pulling on said pants when the phone rang.

“I’ll get it!” Tony called from down the hall. 

“Hello… Who is this?” Bucky couldn’t hear what the was said on the other end but he heard the instant Tony’s voice changed.

“What do you mean? I thought…” He didn’t bother with putting on the second sock. 

“...gave permission?” A pause and then, “...September?” Tony was standing there holding the phone to his ear and nodding.

“Yes! Of course… I’m sure we can make that work… Monday at ten… We’ll be there... Of course, you too. Goodbye.”

“Tony?” Even after the call ended he kept staring at the phone like he wasn’t sure if it was real or not. “Is everything alright Doll?” Bucky carefully pried the receiver from clenched fingers and set it down.

“That was MIT.” Tony still wasn’t looking at him, he was so tense Bucky was afraid he might shatter. “They said… they said that they want me for the fall semester… They want me to go for a Doctorate.” When Tony moved it was faster even than Winter could follow. One moment his back was turned and then he was in Bucky’s arms laughing as hard as he was crying.

“They said my mate contacted them and resubmitted my application… you gave permission.  _ Bucky. _ ” Tony was squeezing all the air out of his lungs, burrowing his face into Bucky’s chest like he wanted to crawl behind his ribs. 

“ _ I’m going to be a doctor.” _

Tears were rolling down his cheeks and Bucky couldn’t care less. He knew that it was important to Tony, and he certainly deserved the chance, but he had never guessed that it would mean this much. He buried his face in Tony’s hair, let the tears disappear into the baby soft curls.

“I love you Doll. I, I talked with Pepper. I was going to tell you when we knew for sure. When you said that Howard wouldn’t let you and, well you deserve everything I could ever give you…” Then he was being kissed within an inch of his life and talking was the last thing on his mind.

\------------

“How can you afford it?” It was well past dinner time but Bucky had made scrambled eggs and didn’t even try to keep Tony from a cup of coffey despite the caffein so near bed time. The omega’s voice was worried. “I know it’s a lot and I can’t really, I don’t have…”

“Shhh, it’s ok.” He pushes more toast onto Tony’s plate and kisses the tip of his nose. 

“I’ve been been planning. I think it’s time to sell this house.” Tony makes a noise of protest but he keeps talking, “Not just because of school. It’s just, I think I need to get away too.” Words are hard. He scoots closer to Tony and tries to make himself clear. 

“When I came back I was so lost. First I was in the hospital and then, well I’m pretty sure that Steve and Nat were afraid that I’d just stop eating if they didn’t remind me… or do something worse.” It had made him so angry when Sam would tell him that things could get better. Now, looking at Tony, thinking about the future in front of them… he probably owed Sam a thank you card. 

“But it’s not like that anymore. Winter and I have our moments, but we work together now. There is no reason I need to keep working with Steve, and there and VA branches all over if I need that. I want a chance to build a life that is my own, and if you want us it would be our honor to build that life with you.”

The smile on Tony’s face was luminous.

“Well I did marry you and all, it would be kinda a wast to have to break in a new alpha.” He grinned and then turned serious, “I love you. I never though this was possible. I was so, so scared, but you are  _ good _ , and I want this. Don’t ever doubt that.” So obviously Bucky had to gather him into his lap and snuggle his face in his hair and just breath the scent that was  _ Tony. _

He probably owed Sam a fruit basket too. That jerk.


	12. Chapter 12

Steve looked like hell. That was the first thing that came to mind when Bucky opened the door. A week and a half wasn’t the longest that they had ever gone without talking to each other, but it might well be the second. The bruises on his face started by his right ear and wrapped across his cheek bone and nose before they turned the socket of his eye a sad sort of yellow. Even worse was the way Steve wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“I, um, can I come in?” He nodded turned toward the kitchen, no point in having this conversation in the hallway. Steve took a deep breath and followed.

“Tony, we’ve got company.” He was glad that he though to warn him because the second Tony looked up and noticed them he shifted from relaxed to a convincing, but absolutely fake, smile. Bucky didn’t even bother being subtle about coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his mate.

“It’s ok Doll, Steve just wants to talk.” The emphasis on  _ talk  _ was aimed at Steve, not Tony. 

“So, um I’m no good at this but, Tony, I’m sorry for what I said and for threatening you. It’s been pointed out to me that I’ve got a blind spot when it comes to Bucky. Sometimes I’m trying to be being protective and all I’m being is an ass. And I hope you can forgive me, but either way I promise I’ll keep out of your way.”

They must have made a ridiculous picture. Steve was red in the face and looking at his shoes and Tony didn’t look scared anymore, he just looked confused. It occured to Bucky that, other than himself, this may be the first time an alpha has apologised to him.

“It’s ok, um I’m not… mad or anything.” It wasn’t all fixed, but Bucky figured that it was a pretty good start.

Epilogue (A year and a half later):

“Wait, Tony! You forgot your lunch…. again” 

Bucky sighed fondly. He’d just drop the food off at Tony’s lab before he went to the library to do his own studying. Two semesters in at MIT and making sure that Tony was eating something other than coffee and sleeping every couple of days was proving to be far more difficult than the English lit degree he was working on. 

Not that he could bring himself to be upset, watching Tony come into his own and bloom here was worth it. Tony seemed determined to cram forty eight hours into every day. Jumping back and forth between his own study, TA’ing for his new friend Dr. Banner, tinkering on their new “child” DUMMY (who lived up to his name by running over people’s toes and spraying them with fire extinguishers,) and his thesis project - a revolutionary interface between a prosthesis and the human nerve system. 

Bucky wasn’t too proud to admit that he cried when Tony showed him the approval for his project to move into human testing trials. Every time he thought it wasn’t possible to love a person more, Tony did something that brought him to his knees. 

It hadn’t been all smooth sailing (there had been a couple of blowups that required intervention form Pepper, Bruce, Steve  _ and  _ Natasha, to get the two of them to sit down and actually use their words) but Bucky couldn’t imagen anywhere he’d rather be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, that's a wrap guys! I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I do have an idea for a sequel, but I make no promises on when I might get to it. Thank you to everyone who liked and commented, it really kept me motivated to get this done!


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